There are some mornings when I wake up feeling like shit. I know there is only one option before me - which is to ‘snap out of it’.
A psychologist once administered a lengthy test
to me, which included staring at inkblots, and pronounced - you have a 'depressive personality'. Meaning I am not, by birth, a shiny happy sunny person. But that doesn’t mean I cannot be happy. It just means I have to consciously work for it.
After experimenting with numerous forms of healing and self-development I have come to one simple conclusion: my state of mind must be in my control. No matter what the circumstances, what the trigger, what the ‘other person said’.
We go to university and get degrees in different subjects but the one area that remains a mystery to most of us - often till the very end - is the human mind. Baar baar bure khayal aate hain… what can I do? As if thoughts are magical beings which dance around in our heads without our consent.
Well, the best way to explain this is that the human mind is like a computer system and thoughts are the software. Many of us have installed faulty software (thoughts which do not serve us well) and hence the system is malfunctioning.
The installation often happened when we were children. We watched our parents and teachers and learnt to be criticise ourselves. We felt alone and unwanted on the playground. We felt ashamed of ourselves. Unworthy of love.
It is amazing how almost every problem in the world can be traced back to the need to be loved and yet feeling - ‘I am not unlovable’. Whitney Houston performed an amazing song called ‘The Greatest Love of All’.
The greatest love of all.. is happening to me.
…learning to love myself.. it is the greatest love of all.
Sadly the singer herself died 25 years in a bathtub after an overdose of cocaine… Obviously struggling with issues of self-acceptance and self-love.
Our modern society, and in particular advertising, is based on the idea that you need to ‘have something’ or ‘do something’ or ‘be a certain kind of someone’ to feel worthy and feel good.
Rashmi Bansal are Author, Entrepreneur and Motivational Speaker. Published four best sellers: 'Stay Hungry Stay Foolish', 'Connect the Dots', 'I Have a Dream' and 'Poor Little Rich Slum'. Co-founder of cult youth magazine JAM (www.jammag.com). Always looking for inspirational stories and sharing of thoughts & ideas. You can Follow Rashmi Bansal on Facebook